(Ice)Princess

Twisted Humour...

2011-03-30T16:06:00.000-04:00

Fav for sure is "To Mother"... a close second are the Bananas ; )

Spring Is Here -- er, Is It?

2011-03-27T11:50:00.002-04:00

Spring is just around the corner!

Proper footwear is always recommended.

Hmm, have to click it to see it - video.

Surely it's about time I returned -- YEAHHH!

2011-03-26T21:16:00.007-04:00

Okay, I've said it before, and I'll say it again (and hopefully this time--- mean it!)
I think I'm coming back!
Hubby is back into the blogging scene now with an election upon us (ugh, don't get me started)
I like to keep things airy, he likes to rage against the Liberals lol.
So ... that said, perhaps I should invest some time again into my own blog!

I've missed my loyals (are you still out there? I hope so!), I've missed the laughs and I've certainly missed sharing my twisted sense of humour with you all! (okay, not really twisted, just at times vulgar and dirrrty - it's the Brit in me!)

So..... guys, Welcome back to IcePrincess and lets have some fun!

:) Random Hi !!!

2010-05-25T14:00:00.002-04:00

My bad, I know...

I had hoped I could come around and post every so often, which turned out to be umm, not so often at all.

Don't lose faith in me, I haven't closed this sucker down... and I don't plan to.

Once upon a time I had a lot of fun with my blogs. To be honest, I miss my old ones I had. This one that I restarted I did with mild effort only. Boo me.

Summer is totally started here for me, weather, activities and kids keeping me on my toes.

Hope everyone is well, busy and happy.

LOL!!! TEST TEST!!!

2009-11-26T14:56:00.003-05:00

...test test as in, does anyone still come here?

Fawk sakes, haven't even opened my blog in EVERRRRR... so here I am, checking in... took me a few tries to access, as I forgot my password! LOL :)

Anyways, life has been busy and I kind of fell off the blog world. How is everyone?

My bad and sorry I abandoned you guys - Maybe I'll come back soon.

Dispute Between Neighbours!

2009-04-16T19:27:00.003-04:00

Dispute Between Neighbours - apparently a true story... (?)

A town councillor in Wales, Mark Easton, had a beautiful view of the mountains, until a new neighbour purchased the land below his house and built a new home.

The new home was 18 inches higher than the planning dept had approved, so Mark Easton, mad about his lost view, went to the local authority to make sure they enforced the roof line height.

The new neighbour had to drop the roof height, at great expense. Recently, Mark Easton called the planning dept, and informed them that his new neighbour had installed some vents on the side of his new property.

Mark didn't like the look of these vents and asked the planning dept to investigate.

When they went to Mark's home to see what the vents looked like, this is what they found...

The Local Authority said the vents can stay since there is no planning law referring to shutter design

Easter's Cancelled!!!

2009-04-10T23:48:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter, Guys XO :)

~Sports Page Sensitivity Test For Men~

2009-04-04T01:10:00.005-04:00

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking.
B. Screwing.
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you have both shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don't miss ESPN Sports Center.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife needs to ever find out about.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you have just had sex with is:

A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your wife/girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:

A. Of no influence on your affectionate feelings for her.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth.
B. An oxymoron.
C. A moron.

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. An appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?

A. I hope we can still be friends.
B. I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.
C. Welcome to Dumpsville. Population, YOU.

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

==================
Evaluating Results:
If you answered A more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really ARE a man.
If you answered B more than 7 times, check into therapy. You're a little confused.
If you answered C more than 7 times, YOU DA MAN!!!

Gay Flight Attendant...

2009-03-07T08:44:00.002-05:00

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.

As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us that 'Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.'

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed this well-dressed and rather Arabic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
'Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.'

She calmly turned her head and said, 'In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.'

To which (I swear) the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, 'Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
Tray-up, Bitch!

Full Disclosure!!!

2009-02-27T16:29:00.001-05:00

I've felt like this before...have you? :)

Butterfly(?) Tattoo...

2009-02-22T09:57:00.001-05:00

Hehehehe...did you look closely? Reeeaallly closely?

;-)

Burning Questions

2009-02-04T19:31:00.008-05:00

If you have sex with a prostitute against her will, is it considered rape or shoplifting?

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, 'It's all right?' Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, 'That really hurt, why don't you watch where you're going?'

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

Calories Burned During Sex...

2009-01-28T15:44:00.004-05:00

REMOVING HER CLOTHES:

With her consent 12 Calories

Without her consent 2,187 Calories

OPENING HER BRA:

With both hands 8 Calories

With one hand 12 Calories

With your teeth 485 Calories

PUTTING ON A CONDOM:

With an erection 6 Calories

Without an erection 3,315 Calories

POSITIONS:

Missionary 12 Calories

69 lying down 78 Calories

69 standing up 812 Calories

Wheelbarrow 216 Calories

Doggy Style 326 Calories

Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories

ORGASMS:

Real 112 Calories

Fake 1,315 Calories

POST ORGASM:

Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories

Getting up immediately 36 Calories

Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816 Calories

GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:

If you are:

20-29 years 36 Calories

30-39 years 80 Calories

40-49 years 124 Calories

50-59 years 1,972 Calories

60-69 years 7,916 Calories

70 and over Results are still pending

DRESSING AFTERWARDS:

Calmly.. 32 Calories

In a hurry 98 Calories

With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories

With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories

Results may vary!

Girl/Guy - What goes through your mind when someone says "let's drink!"

2009-01-24T08:31:00.004-05:00

(Click the images for a proper LARGE view)

Poor us!

SSSSSmart Cars!

2009-01-21T10:39:00.009-05:00

Smorvette!

Smaudi AWD!

Smamborghini!

Smorsche!

Smorsche Targa!

Smerarri!

These things remind me of toys my friends little brother used to play with when we were kids... MICRO MACHINES!!!

Cute cars though!

Happy Birthday to ME! 29+1=Eww!

2009-01-18T10:36:00.006-05:00

January 19th is D Day, or is it B Day? hehehe.

How the FAWK am I 30???

I remember when my MOM was 30!!!

Whatev's... I dont' feel it!!! :)

Somethin' Fishy...

2009-01-09T16:20:00.004-05:00

Never EVER light a Firecracker outta your BUTT!!!

2009-01-02T21:07:00.003-05:00

WTF were these JackASS thinking?

Happy New Year!

2008-12-31T20:08:00.001-05:00

Make it a memorable last night, of 2008!

I wish you and yours all the best for a happy healthy 2009!

I'm tired...almost over...

2008-12-26T22:52:00.004-05:00

Yep - linin' up for my Timmy's - to WAKE THE F#%@ UP!!!

We switched it up this holiday season and DID not travel all over the map, instead opting to stay home and have people come to us!

Was nice not travelling Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the days following.

We broke our parents family tradition of having "us kids" around and are creating our own now that we have our own kids.

Let me tell ya, I'm still just as tired having them come to us! Lots of cooking and cleaning - shit!

We had a nice Christmas, hope you and yours did too!

Merry Ho Ho, Ho's!

2008-12-19T19:57:00.002-05:00

Eat your chicken wings!

2008-12-11T13:03:00.001-05:00

Drinkin' Buddies...

2008-12-06T22:49:00.000-05:00

Christmas Slippers!

2008-12-05T18:08:00.002-05:00

My Dear Friends:

I just learned that I wonʼt be getting an annual bonus and Christmas funds will be tight this year. Rather than leaving you off the gift list completely, I will be making bedroom slippers for all my friends and relatives.

You'll most likely agree that it's a splendid idea, and should you wish to do the same for loved ones in your circle of family and friends, I've included the instructions below.

How to make bedroom slippers out of maxi pads:

You need four maxi pads to make a pair.

Two of them get laid out flat, for the foot part.

The other two wrap around the toe area to form the top.

Tape or glue each side of the top pieces to the bottom of the foot part.

Decorate the tops with whatever you desire, silk flowers, pompoms or seasonal embellishments.

These slippers are: * Soft and Hygienic

* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh

* No more bending over to mop up spills

* Disposable and biodegradable

* Environmentally safe

* Three convenient sizes:

(1.) Regular,

(2.) Light

and

(3.) Get out the Sand Bags.

MoM of the YEAR

2008-11-28T10:21:00.006-05:00

Jesus...

Hitler's Son

2008-11-25T09:51:00.001-05:00

Trim that muff, gal!

So True!

2008-11-18T16:34:00.000-05:00

Be Free My Friend, Andy.

2008-11-06T09:18:00.001-05:00

You will be missed.

I've lost my Andy...

2008-10-19T10:13:00.002-04:00

For my regs who remember Andy, he's gone AWAL, M.I.A!

Come back, Andy... we're thinking about you.

Wherever have you gone?

WoNkY AsS FuN bAgS

2008-10-11T22:40:00.002-04:00

Great Wisdoms...

2008-10-06T09:14:00.002-04:00

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets The cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.

17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

20. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the heck happened?'

22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.

23. Light travels faster than sound.. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates . . . it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Saskatchewan Seafood?!?!

2008-10-02T08:47:00.000-04:00

Eww!

...buttons

2008-09-25T08:39:00.000-04:00

Bretty Boy - 3 weeks

2008-09-25T08:33:00.004-04:00

Click 'em for a larger view

My friend does pro shots, used him for her portfolio... only have 5 of the 600 pics so far... yeah, 600 pics ...whoah.

He behaved very well, with the vacuum running in the background to soothe him. He's colic so whatever works!

'ere pussy pussy...

2008-09-08T21:32:00.003-04:00

"I don't see the resemblance?!?!?!"

School 1957 vs. 2008

2008-09-06T23:50:00.006-04:00

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.

**1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

****2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

**1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

****2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

**1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

****2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

**1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

****2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

**1957 - Mark shares aspirin with Principal out on the smoking dock.

****2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

**1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

****2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

**1957 - Ants die.

****2007- BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

**1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

****2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Ferfucksakes! No shit.

Baby Bret

2008-08-23T22:23:00.004-04:00

Bret Keagan, arrived Thursday August 21st at 420pm.

7 lbs 10 oz. 20 inches long.

2 HOUR LABOUR! YEAH!!! My best time yet... lol.

...but I'm done.

New Office Policy

2008-08-15T10:51:00.002-04:00

EFFECTIVE AUGUST 1, 2008

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:

1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bathroom Breaks: Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:

* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience.

Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management.

9 Months - Lets Go Already!!!

2008-08-13T10:46:00.001-04:00

New Brakes...

2008-08-10T19:48:00.000-04:00

Reads: Beware of new Brakes!

Speaking of Blackberry....

2008-07-31T16:19:00.003-04:00

So, my phone (which I had had for a whole woppin' 3 months) crapped out, started freezing up like a computer...(Motorola KRazR - sexy phone, nice functions and camera, but poorly made I guess - software wise)...so anyways, my phone has been gone since July 2nd... here we sit July 31st and it's still in being fixed... such BULLSHIT!

So I got on the phone last week with my service provider (Rogers - for you Canucks who would be familiar with them) and BITCHED and COMPLAINED and THREATENED to cancel my services etc... and laateedaa, they offered to replace my phone for free and upgrade me to the Blackberry Pearl... hahahaAHAHAHAHahaHAHAHAHA.

Done.

Sold.

Got it.

Love it.

Except it's blue, so after my son pointed out it should be called a "BLUE"berry not a blackberry I said, Hey, I like that! My Blueberry. :)

Workaholic...

2008-07-15T11:39:00.000-04:00

Uhh, isn't this what a Blackberry is for?!

...waiting...

2008-07-11T08:59:00.002-04:00

No baby yet...

due August 15th, so another 4 weeks to go.

GET

OUT

BFF

2008-07-03T09:05:00.001-04:00

Haven't put any ass up in a while... so here ya go.

Oil Prices...

2008-06-27T14:34:00.003-04:00

Here is a thought...

OPEC sells oil for $136.00 a barrel.

OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.

Solution: Sell grain for $136.00 a bushel.

Can't buy it? Tough! Eat your oil!

Ought to go well with a nice thick grilled filet of camel ass!!!

Dubai - WAY COOL!

2008-06-27T14:09:00.013-04:00

EVERY HOUSE HAS A BEACH! Architecture at it's best.

CLICK THE PICS FOR A NICE LARGE VIEW!

This pic is taken from the tallest building in Dubai,

the 'Burj Dubai' @ 2,620 ft / 801m!!! (below)

Look at the edge (uppermost right corner) of the picture, you can almost see the turn of the earth (below)

K - I don't think Dubai is well known for being the 'safest' of destinations, but SHIT, this place really is spectacular!

$$$$$

Guts OR Balls?

2008-06-24T18:17:00.006-04:00

There IS a medical distinction.

We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them?

In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: ''Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?''

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: ''You're next, fatty.''

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions.

(Medically speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately result in death.)

What the HELL was this dude THINKING?!?!

2008-06-21T22:24:00.004-04:00

Breast Implants in a tattoo on your friggin' leg?

HORRIBLE!!!

What a DORK.

Screw it...

2008-06-16T17:15:00.000-04:00

Technical Problems?...

2008-06-12T17:13:00.004-04:00

When one is having technical problems with their computer or telephone one calls a call centre.

This is some wiring in India. Sometimes the calls are routed there!

Now you know why it takes so long to get to someone :)

Dog Training

2008-06-10T14:17:00.003-04:00

So who poops and scoops after HER?

Good Lord, woman! LOL

Big Shades=Fun chicks!

2008-06-01T11:06:00.001-04:00

Those bitches stole my shades!

Important Zen Teachings....

2008-05-30T07:45:00.002-04:00

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the wind screen.

13. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience, And most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass ... Then things just get worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Choke me-Spank me-Pull my hair

2008-05-26T11:16:00.000-04:00

Eat Me!

2008-05-22T10:21:00.001-04:00

Thanks for the pic, Twit :)

Samarel Erotic Art

2008-05-20T12:56:00.004-04:00

Impossible?

2008-05-18T08:34:00.001-04:00

Click on it for a proper view.

Wieeeeeeeeerd!

Over Heated

2008-05-14T16:22:00.000-04:00

Potty Break...

2008-05-05T22:17:00.002-04:00

...and a view from the inside below, ehem... ahh, NO THANKS!

Would you? COULD YOU? I couldn't!

Sparkle Barbie Car?

2008-05-03T08:49:00.000-04:00

Mary Kay is moving up in the world!

Something

2008-04-30T09:42:00.003-04:00

Sorry about the lack of posts lately.

Ooops...

2008-04-26T22:24:00.002-04:00

I hate when this happens!

This one's for Andrea - AGAIN! :)

Awards Show we went to last weekend.

2008-04-24T15:02:00.009-04:00

Chris had to accept an Award for the company he works for.

Wasn't huge, maybe 150 people... between the awards presentation they had entertainment intermissions...

At Ontario Place - Atlantis Room, Toronto...April 18th.

The Dancing Girls... was like a Vegas Show.

Twist Ladies...

They smiled the entire half hour performance... my face hurt for them.

And then there were the "painted boobs"... needless to say the dudes were gauking at these all night.

Bring on Spring, Baby!

2008-04-23T12:38:00.003-04:00

Or...by the looks of it, skip spring and let's get right into summer.

It looks like our 4 seasons are slowly turning into 2.

Tow?

2008-04-21T22:32:00.004-04:00

Only the Japs, huh?

Unreal!~

6 Months Prego Now...

2008-04-20T21:33:00.003-04:00

And found out this past week, it's ANOTHER boy... that's 3. Holy shitballz.

No girls for me, because this IS my last.

Will post something worth while tomorrow guys.

Hope you're all well!

Once a week Kiss.

2008-04-10T14:04:00.001-04:00

As the title reads...

Just a pic...

2008-04-08T18:21:00.001-04:00

Sorry, guys...super slow posts lately, I know...bare with me.

Vasectomy....uh, knot!

2008-04-04T20:12:00.002-04:00

Hmm, wonder if the hubby knows what he signed up for after the baby is born?!

Proper Archery Pose...

2008-04-02T13:51:00.004-04:00

I did some archery when I was a kid at camp...I wasn't a bad shot, actually a lot of fun!

Yeeeoooouuuccchhhh!

2008-04-01T10:51:00.001-04:00

Apparently a boating accident...is this shit for real???

ClickClick for a larger view.

Umm... yeah!

2008-03-24T17:15:00.004-04:00

Yummy!

Squirrel Catapult... cheeky 'lil bugger!

2008-03-16T13:59:00.004-04:00

Yeah, umm... It was sent to me, no hate mail please!

Only 1:08 long - Worth the watch, PROMISE!

Open? ....Kinda

2008-03-13T17:46:00.003-04:00

As per Andy's hurt feelings I've opened the doors early... pre party, with no favours - so to speak.

I'll try and post some crap every other day to make it worth your while for coming until I'm back at 'er daily again.

Not even sure that anyone other than my long lost blog buddy, Andy, will come in at this point. I have to go make the 'rounds to let people know I'm here.

Anyways, stay tuned and I'll start putting my "relentlessly smutty" shit back up (as RT said... haha, yet came in over and over and looked, huh?) Hmmm...

~Ice.